The irony of revisiting a piece like this isn’t lost on me. A little under a year ago, I thought it was pathetic to allow thoughts of you to inspire so many words, and yet here I am, writing about you again. You’ll be happy to know that I’ve changed my mind. Not about how much you hurt, or the fact that the things you did were selfish at best and cruel at worst, but rather, I no longer think writing about you is pathetic.
The fact that I can look back on half finished writing, and still feel that familiar sting, makes me realize that there was a depth to how I felt. True, you were not the person I hoped you would be, and yes there are aspects to you that are far shallower than I anticipated, but in the end neither you nor the feelings you inspired were hollow, and for that I am grateful.
I’ve been holding onto you for far too long,
Just look at my hands, they’re bleeding.
The pain you cause isn’t worth your song,
Though, neither is the pain of leaving.
I’m breaking my promise, yes I know,
But that’s what people do when they have to grow,
We learn it’s not healthy to live in limbo,
So I finally learned how to let you go.
There’s just one thing I need to ask, so I don’t end up regretting it.
Did you keep me around because you liked my smile, or did I just make for a nice aesthetic?