There was a three day period this year when I didn’t leave my room. I sat there, listening to the voices of people I seemingly couldn’t reach out to, and wrote letters that I never planned to deliver. Those letters were my way of having a conversation that I was too afraid to actually have. Even in those letters I struggled to lay out exactly how I was feeling, and how I had come to that point. As you all have probably noticed if you read my “About” page, I struggle speaking about myself in a direct manner. That’s where this next piece of writing comes in. During that same three day period that I wrote letters I wrote this short story. At the time I pretended that this was simply something I had come up with to pass the time, but in reality this was my perception of my life. Im hoping that sharing this will first and foremost help me aid me in bridging that gap that has begun to form between myself and the rest of the world, while also helping others better understand the mentality of those suffering.
In the Dark
There was once a boy who was tasked with leading the lost out of the dark.
He would patiently wait until he heard their cries, then without a second thought, he would calmly walk into the darkness, take those lost by the hand, and lead them into the light.
It was then that the boy and those he saved would part ways, never to speak again.
Now for a while this relationship between the boy and those he saved was just fine.
The boy was happy, for he got to see the joy that he brought to those who walked back into the light.
As time passed, however, the boy started to realize that something was wrong.
He noticed that each time he took the hand of those lost in the dark he took into himself the darkness that they themselves had been corrupted by.
Terrified, the boy knew that if he continued to save those lost in the dark there would come a day that he would no longer be able to walk freely between the light and the dark.
He considered renouncing his task, allowing those lost to find their own way out, but in the end he could not ignore their cries of sorrow, and so upon hearing them he braved the darkness again.
Time after time the boy would walk into a haze of pain and sadness to save one who would ultimately leave him, until that fateful day finally came.
The boy had just reached the light with one he had saved and realized that he couldn’t leave.
Not knowing what else to do he turned to his companion and for the first time in his life reached out his hand and asked for someone to take his own darkness.
To the shock and horror of the boy, the one he had just lead to the light smiled at his outstretched and walked past him.
Fighting back tears the boy begged the previously lost soul to reconsider.
Stopping just before the light the individual turned with a look of pity and promptly said
“But what if I end up like you?”
Broken, the boy watched as his would be savior left him alone in the darkness.
The boy sat alone no longer knowing what life held for him.
He felt himself slowly fading into the haze of misery that he now called home.
It was not until he heard the cries of another lost in the dark that he knew what he must do.
Time and time again the boy found those lost in his new home, and lead them to the exit, but no longer was it for the joy of seeing the happiness of those he helped.
No, now the boy only took in the darkness of others for he knew that there would come a day when either he would fade away into his own misery or someone would finally hear his cries of pain.
He did not care which outcome came first, for he could no longer bear to live in a world where no one was willing to show him the light.
Me & a mask 